anticipation

12 am (ish) Housemate comes homes and I wake, check the clock- 5 and a half hours . . .
2:44 am No culprit this time
4:15 am Thank goodness, a bit space for dreams
5:33 I beat the alarm by five minutes, I spent a few minutes wishing it were earlier
5:40 up and out of bed, throw myself into gi and a few layers of warmth, brush teeth, grab bike
6 am Kangeiko! And I realize all the lack of sleep and anticipation was worth it.

sometimes

sometimes your head hurts, your vision blurs, you can't stand up
sometimes you're too tired, too cranky, too busy, too lazy
sometimes other obligations conflict, or you are out of town
sometimes you forget or lose track of time, maybe you sleep in
sometimes you're body aches and pleads with you to rest
but then, other times you are present, you are ready
you walk in the door, bow, suit up into your dirty gi and
it all comes together