12 am (ish) Housemate comes homes and I wake, check the clock- 5 and a half hours . . .
2:44 am No culprit this time
4:15 am Thank goodness, a bit space for dreams
5:33 I beat the alarm by five minutes, I spent a few minutes wishing it were earlier
5:40 up and out of bed, throw myself into gi and a few layers of warmth, brush teeth, grab bike
6 am Kangeiko! And I realize all the lack of sleep and anticipation was worth it.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
sometimes
sometimes your head hurts, your vision blurs, you can't stand up
sometimes you're too tired, too cranky, too busy, too lazy
sometimes other obligations conflict, or you are out of town
sometimes you forget or lose track of time, maybe you sleep in
sometimes you're body aches and pleads with you to rest
but then, other times you are present, you are ready
you walk in the door, bow, suit up into your dirty gi and
it all comes together
sometimes you're too tired, too cranky, too busy, too lazy
sometimes other obligations conflict, or you are out of town
sometimes you forget or lose track of time, maybe you sleep in
sometimes you're body aches and pleads with you to rest
but then, other times you are present, you are ready
you walk in the door, bow, suit up into your dirty gi and
it all comes together
Monday, December 20, 2010
from a single drop . . .
the first time i keyed out a flower, i knew that this unlocking of nature's secrets could hold my attention indefinitely, for every path now held new treasures to discover . . .
the first time i tried aikido i caught a glimpse of its incredible depth- like a good wine it appears to gain both grace, complexity, and simplicity with age. it was clear that with each technique, each partner, and each new day it would take on new meanings, it would evolve . . .
there is this intuition, this acknowledgment that occupies my entire being when i initially encounter some things, rare, special things that are akin to art, that are a living practice . . .
they effortlessly convey their manifold essence upon a single taste, at the merest glace
and then, i suppose, it takes a lifetime to engage what was originally hinted at
the first time i tried aikido i caught a glimpse of its incredible depth- like a good wine it appears to gain both grace, complexity, and simplicity with age. it was clear that with each technique, each partner, and each new day it would take on new meanings, it would evolve . . .
there is this intuition, this acknowledgment that occupies my entire being when i initially encounter some things, rare, special things that are akin to art, that are a living practice . . .
they effortlessly convey their manifold essence upon a single taste, at the merest glace
and then, i suppose, it takes a lifetime to engage what was originally hinted at
Saturday, December 11, 2010
oozing
Today Wendy Palmer Sensei relayed this quote from Endo Sensei (I believe), "You cannot fully understand aikido until you grow older, so until then, save your body."
In the spirit of healing our bodies, and under the instruction of Glen Leichman Sensei, we allowed ourselves to be tossed over nage's hips, so that we could practice gently dripping down like a tickling waterfall.
Soft ukemi.
It's like magic, from shaping your body and relaxing it, you and the mat refind your oneness without a shocking slap. Melting, melding.
This is an equalizer, reminding me that uke and nage are one, we fall into one another.
In the spirit of healing our bodies, and under the instruction of Glen Leichman Sensei, we allowed ourselves to be tossed over nage's hips, so that we could practice gently dripping down like a tickling waterfall.
Soft ukemi.
It's like magic, from shaping your body and relaxing it, you and the mat refind your oneness without a shocking slap. Melting, melding.
This is an equalizer, reminding me that uke and nage are one, we fall into one another.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Bearing Witness
it is akin to participating.
watching with open heart, smiling mind.
learning.
visualizing.
appreciating.
growing.
also, there is a knowing-- knowing that someone has shaped me, and I them; that the whole dojo is constantly evolving together . . . that this process will continue.
and, in that, there is accomplishment, beauty, and excitement.
watching with open heart, smiling mind.
learning.
visualizing.
appreciating.
growing.
also, there is a knowing-- knowing that someone has shaped me, and I them; that the whole dojo is constantly evolving together . . . that this process will continue.
and, in that, there is accomplishment, beauty, and excitement.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
how to keep on keepin on
weird, maybe it is life transition
but i find it challenging to want to go train right now
and when i am in the dojo, i am pretty distracted
it is also kinda hard to keep changing dojos, i know i am accumulating a variety of knowledge, but i really miss the old places
anyway, if anyone has adive to help me continue practicing as my time constraints and priorities shift, i'd welcome it
thanks!
but i find it challenging to want to go train right now
and when i am in the dojo, i am pretty distracted
it is also kinda hard to keep changing dojos, i know i am accumulating a variety of knowledge, but i really miss the old places
anyway, if anyone has adive to help me continue practicing as my time constraints and priorities shift, i'd welcome it
thanks!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
High Sierra Poems
Davis Lakes
July 2, 2009
The upwelling of clouds
Over the craggy peaks
Brings with it the roaring hiss
Of icy winds that sting
My skin, still tingling
From immersion in the
Pristine, glassy high sierra cirque
Each and every cell aches
For the sun to poke back
Through the billowy whiteness
So I can store it’s energy
To prepare for yet another plunge
The act of which fulfills
A tiny part of the
Endless cycle where hot meets cold
Which vanishes back into the
brilliant heat again
I shiver, salty sweaty beads
Of water brushed off by the wind
But the cold doesn’t matter at all
Not in a place this worn
And outsized and
Real
Zen and the Art of Mosquito Maintenance
I wonder,
Is it possible to be Zen
About mosquitoes? Even when
They form a hovering anxious
Cloud around your heated frame?
And you anticipate the interminable itch
Accompanied by a most grotesque and
Unnecessary swelling?
But they mean that I must be
somewhere exceedingly wonderful . . .
I’ve killed at least a dozen already.
The Smell of Pine Needles
I think that nowhere is
The sky so blue
Than in a pine forest
The warm crisp smell
Must act as an intoxicant
Allowing us to see the
Rocks, rivers, grass and clouds
In their true nature:
Stark and bold and endless
July 2, 2009
The upwelling of clouds
Over the craggy peaks
Brings with it the roaring hiss
Of icy winds that sting
My skin, still tingling
From immersion in the
Pristine, glassy high sierra cirque
Each and every cell aches
For the sun to poke back
Through the billowy whiteness
So I can store it’s energy
To prepare for yet another plunge
The act of which fulfills
A tiny part of the
Endless cycle where hot meets cold
Which vanishes back into the
brilliant heat again
I shiver, salty sweaty beads
Of water brushed off by the wind
But the cold doesn’t matter at all
Not in a place this worn
And outsized and
Real
Zen and the Art of Mosquito Maintenance
I wonder,
Is it possible to be Zen
About mosquitoes? Even when
They form a hovering anxious
Cloud around your heated frame?
And you anticipate the interminable itch
Accompanied by a most grotesque and
Unnecessary swelling?
But they mean that I must be
somewhere exceedingly wonderful . . .
I’ve killed at least a dozen already.
The Smell of Pine Needles
I think that nowhere is
The sky so blue
Than in a pine forest
The warm crisp smell
Must act as an intoxicant
Allowing us to see the
Rocks, rivers, grass and clouds
In their true nature:
Stark and bold and endless
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Dear Two Rock Dojo
Collectively the dojo has shown me that having grace and poise signifies presence and depth. My training with everyone has been open, honest, and exploratory- and engaged journey seeking connection to one another, the self, and the mystery. Although leaving causes me great sadness, I know that the lessons of the last year and a half are imprinted within my cells. Two rock dojo is a special place that radiates the passion and energy of it's dynamic community. I hope to continue upon the path represented by aiki principles, to continue polishing my stone, and remembering to remind myself that "true victory is self victory." I'm excited to train with you again in the future; thanks for all the wonderful moments to build upon!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Memories that live in the body
It is somewhat miraculous, that shaping your body in different ways has the ability to awaken feelings, memories and thoughts trapped beneath the skin, perhaps deep inside muscle tissue. Is it the same with pain? Do certain movements evoke negative synaptic connections while other stir up relaxation?
Well, I rediscovered these sensations two weeks ago during a class focused on flow taught by Grayson Sensei. Instead of beginning with the traditional first technique, tenkan (I should eventually learn how to spell this), we were instructed to try to feel the connection between ourselves and our partner. To focus our attention, our nerves, or feeling the warmth and energy passing between us. The truly incredible thing was although they seemed to be standing still, they were moving! They were impossible to grab! Their arm was in multiple places at once, it felt much like how Herman Hesse's Siddhartha described his river of enlightenment: always within the same river body, yet constantly changing and refreshing.
What were we really doing with this exercise? Allowing energy to flow out of our bodies while receiving another's energy flow. Ki.
What exactly is energy? Why can I sometimes feel it course through my body, making my skin warm? Then again, most of the time I am completely unaware of it. If we are comprised of atoms and atoms are comprised of constantly orbiting particles that have energy- does that mean that on an atomic level we are never truly still? Is it truly a Saotome Sensei describes, that we are reverberations of the big bang, products of eons of evolution, complex packages of highly condensed and specialized matter (and yet still mostly empty space!)? It is more than my mind can contain at this late hour.
Upon feeling the presence of energy in my body, I was reminded of the first time I ever actually noticed its existence-- lying on a table with needles rising from my palms, face, elbows, knees. The first time I received acupuncture it seemed as if little quivers of energy shook just below the surface of my skin; but rapidly this accelerated into vibrations that coursed along my meridians. I was a bit scared, yet mostly awed that such a presence resided within me and I had been completely unconscious of it. When the needles were removed I remember feeling alert yet relaxed at the same time . . .
Well, I rediscovered these sensations two weeks ago during a class focused on flow taught by Grayson Sensei. Instead of beginning with the traditional first technique, tenkan (I should eventually learn how to spell this), we were instructed to try to feel the connection between ourselves and our partner. To focus our attention, our nerves, or feeling the warmth and energy passing between us. The truly incredible thing was although they seemed to be standing still, they were moving! They were impossible to grab! Their arm was in multiple places at once, it felt much like how Herman Hesse's Siddhartha described his river of enlightenment: always within the same river body, yet constantly changing and refreshing.
What were we really doing with this exercise? Allowing energy to flow out of our bodies while receiving another's energy flow. Ki.
What exactly is energy? Why can I sometimes feel it course through my body, making my skin warm? Then again, most of the time I am completely unaware of it. If we are comprised of atoms and atoms are comprised of constantly orbiting particles that have energy- does that mean that on an atomic level we are never truly still? Is it truly a Saotome Sensei describes, that we are reverberations of the big bang, products of eons of evolution, complex packages of highly condensed and specialized matter (and yet still mostly empty space!)? It is more than my mind can contain at this late hour.
Upon feeling the presence of energy in my body, I was reminded of the first time I ever actually noticed its existence-- lying on a table with needles rising from my palms, face, elbows, knees. The first time I received acupuncture it seemed as if little quivers of energy shook just below the surface of my skin; but rapidly this accelerated into vibrations that coursed along my meridians. I was a bit scared, yet mostly awed that such a presence resided within me and I had been completely unconscious of it. When the needles were removed I remember feeling alert yet relaxed at the same time . . .
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
White belt blues
I heard that originally Osensei did not want to have "belts" within aikido because it was counter to the philosophy of the practice and would encourage competition. I am not sure if this is true, however, ranks do exist and cause similar hierarchical dilemmas as status/prestige/titles create in other arenas in life.
As kyus currently exist, one trains for a certain number of hours/days until one encounters the techniques included on the next exam and has had sufficient time to prepare for them. Thus, the time between exams increases as one progresses and the kyu exam "measures" additional requirements and skill. Of course, one is often not asked to take the exam until passing it is assured.
I think that in many ways they are beneficial, forcing you to dissect techniques and challenge yourself to move beyond completing them during training to being able to demonstrate them in front of your peers. The focus your practice and intensify it.
However, since I have moved dojos many times, I have not taken my exams by any set calendar. Indeed I have found that different dojos have different ways of pursuing exams and varied expectations. It is another challenge in and of itself not to judge myself for not "progressing" as fast as my friends from my beginning class who stayed at the same dojo and have been able to continue accruing ranks. Does the fact that they have completed the test make them better than me at aikido? Is that what kyu exams are supposed to do? Why do they matter? Is it the sense of accomplishment? the ability of the Sensei to have a yardstick for your progress? Does not taking them say something about my practice?
I would like to have the opportunity to take another test- to hone my skills and challenge myself. However, as I will be moving once again this fall, such things seems unlikely. So my "test" will be to learn patience. Hopefully I will still be doing aikido in 20 years and will look back on the hurry I was in to "progress" and laugh at myself.
Being a white belt can be challenging, particularly at events with people who you don't know. I think many assume that you just walked on the mat the other day and don't realize that you may have been training for years. This influences how they treat you, and, with some folks, even whether they train to you at all. It is hurtful, because all I want to do is give both myself and my partner a valuable learning experience. This is hampered when I can tell they would prefer to train with another black belt- it makes me feel less valuable. Although I have heard many say that working with a white belt is a gift (working with anyone is a gift because everyone is different) because they help you to rediscover parts of aikido those who have been training for years may take for granted- what is preached is not always practiced. I often think that without training with those who have been doing this longer, it will be harder to get to the point they are at, where they would want to train with me. Aikido is a growing art, I think new students, semi-new students, and old students are all essential to its continuing development. While I want black belts to benefit from the experience and have time to train with one another, I wish they would remember what it felt like for them to be a white belt, and take more imitative to turn to us and say "onegaishimas" (however it is spelled) with enthusiasm and sincerity.
I know that there are many black belts who do this every day, and I thank them. Additionally, in many dojos, this practice is one that is considered a virtue by the senseis. But every so often, even there, I look around and see all the white belts training together every time (which isn't necessarily bad) and I wonder . . .
As kyus currently exist, one trains for a certain number of hours/days until one encounters the techniques included on the next exam and has had sufficient time to prepare for them. Thus, the time between exams increases as one progresses and the kyu exam "measures" additional requirements and skill. Of course, one is often not asked to take the exam until passing it is assured.
I think that in many ways they are beneficial, forcing you to dissect techniques and challenge yourself to move beyond completing them during training to being able to demonstrate them in front of your peers. The focus your practice and intensify it.
However, since I have moved dojos many times, I have not taken my exams by any set calendar. Indeed I have found that different dojos have different ways of pursuing exams and varied expectations. It is another challenge in and of itself not to judge myself for not "progressing" as fast as my friends from my beginning class who stayed at the same dojo and have been able to continue accruing ranks. Does the fact that they have completed the test make them better than me at aikido? Is that what kyu exams are supposed to do? Why do they matter? Is it the sense of accomplishment? the ability of the Sensei to have a yardstick for your progress? Does not taking them say something about my practice?
I would like to have the opportunity to take another test- to hone my skills and challenge myself. However, as I will be moving once again this fall, such things seems unlikely. So my "test" will be to learn patience. Hopefully I will still be doing aikido in 20 years and will look back on the hurry I was in to "progress" and laugh at myself.
Being a white belt can be challenging, particularly at events with people who you don't know. I think many assume that you just walked on the mat the other day and don't realize that you may have been training for years. This influences how they treat you, and, with some folks, even whether they train to you at all. It is hurtful, because all I want to do is give both myself and my partner a valuable learning experience. This is hampered when I can tell they would prefer to train with another black belt- it makes me feel less valuable. Although I have heard many say that working with a white belt is a gift (working with anyone is a gift because everyone is different) because they help you to rediscover parts of aikido those who have been training for years may take for granted- what is preached is not always practiced. I often think that without training with those who have been doing this longer, it will be harder to get to the point they are at, where they would want to train with me. Aikido is a growing art, I think new students, semi-new students, and old students are all essential to its continuing development. While I want black belts to benefit from the experience and have time to train with one another, I wish they would remember what it felt like for them to be a white belt, and take more imitative to turn to us and say "onegaishimas" (however it is spelled) with enthusiasm and sincerity.
I know that there are many black belts who do this every day, and I thank them. Additionally, in many dojos, this practice is one that is considered a virtue by the senseis. But every so often, even there, I look around and see all the white belts training together every time (which isn't necessarily bad) and I wonder . . .
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Tesfaye's Shodon
The poise and flow Tes showed during his Shodon is still spinning around in my head- I can't help but feel inspired by him! I think that beside the marvel of soft ukeme, the gift he has given us all is his example of warmth, acceptance, openness, friendship, insightfulness and playful spirit. I am so encouraged that aikido is a path for children in Ethiopia, and that they are able to learn with such a wonderful teacher. It feels really good to be part of such a global community, committed to the exploration of peaceful coexistence.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Thoughts on Israel
Many people have asked me about my experience in Israel, which coincided with the recent conflict in Gaza. With the election results upon us, I thought I might take a moment to describe my perspective on the myriad viewpoints I encountered:
The children’s memorial at the Israeli national holocaust museum consists of a dark tunnel that leads into a man-made cavern where the walls appear to be constructed out of windows. Inside each window is a single candle, flickering. The soft flames are reflected in the layers of shimmering glass. Gazing in any direction, one has the perception of seeing thousands of candles scattered into the distance. It is not unlike the feeling of lying in a field and gazing at the night sky, endless stars stretching out toward the horizon. The tunnel opens up again on a hillside that overlooks the city limits of Jerusalem, perhaps contrasting a vision of hope for the modern state against the tragic circumstances of its beginnings. The memorial’s layout is telling of the mentality many Israelis have concerning the birth of their nation and its continuing struggle for survival. Although Israelis are infamous for holding conflicting opinions simultaneously, “If you have two Jews in one room then you have at least four opinions,” I did encounter many similarities during my recent 10-day birthright trip to the country.
Before leaving I sat glued to the television in my Grandmother’s house in New Jersey, watching the situation in Gaza escalate. I felt conflicted, on the one-hand I was outraged the so many civilians were being killed in an operation whose origin I barely understood. I was also terrified of going to visit a war-torn land during the height of an international crisis. On the other hand, I was interested in seeing how military actions affected the greater Israeli population, and decided that if citizens there could daily live with the threat of suicide bombers, I would probably be alright during my brief stay. In the end curiosity won; my sister and I decided to ignore the pleas of our family to think of our safety and set out to experience Zion with a group themed “Peace, pluralism and social justice.” My goal was to enter with an open mind, with the hope of learning historical context that could elucidate current events.
Once in the country, I found it challenging to keep abreast of developments in Gaza for two reasons: our exceptionally busy schedule, and my extraordinarily poor Hebrew language skills. If I had never known of the circumstances, my observations of daily life not have revealed any signs of it. Things appeared to continue normally in the northern and central parts of the country. Although we did get word that rockets has been fired from Lebanon a few miles from where we were staying one night, and a city we had visited was targeted a few days after our excursion. Had we been in Be’er Sheva, however, daily rocket attacks would have served as a reminder of the raging air and ground war. The Israeli students who accompanied the trip had been dismissed from their university due to the aerial attacks; homes, pubs and schools were damaged in their neighborhoods. Of course, contrasted with the scale of the operation in Gaza, such losses were minimal.
Nearly every Israeli I spoke with supported the operation and was worried about the troops. They repeatedly highlight the fact that their troops act ethically, they do not use women and children for shields, do not occupy schools and fire from within. Yet in order to carry out the mission, they are forced by the actions of those they are fighting (Hamas) to target civilian areas because their enemy utilizes them for safe cover. Everyone regretted civilian causalities but many thought that based on the manner in which Hamas operated they were often unavoidable. I have seen videos of Hamas fighters training children to use weapons and grabbing children for use as shields. Former Israeli military officers told stories of having Hamas fire through women, wounding and killing Israeli soldiers who were unwilling to fire at a civilian. (I should say that I did not have the opportunity to speak with any Palestinians during my trip, nor any Arab-Israelis, so inevitably the perspective I relay is biased. Nonetheless, I do think it represents the mindset of the majority of Israelis.) Hamas is viewed as a terrorist organization that spends more time training its population for warfare than it does supplying necessary goods and services. Israel has had a cease-fire agreement with Hamas and the Gaza territory, however southern Israeli cities have sustained rocket attacks nearly daily for the past eight years. The rationale for the recent attack is that a unilateral ceasefire is unsustainable and is not tolerable if Israeli citizens are forced to live in constant fear of rocket fire.
This is not the say that the grievances within the Gazan population are not valid. Nearly 80% of the population is unemployed since the borders into Israel have been closed. Medical provisions and food were already short supply prior to the operation. I often heard Israelis comment about the ability of Hamas to import rockets through their network of tunnels, but their inability to bring supplies to the population. Israel views Gaza as a burden, won from Egypt during the 1967 war, it contains the largest percentage of the Palestinian population in the annexed territories during the war. Israel has created infrastructure throughout the small region (much of which was just destroyed). They view themselves as pouring millions of dollars into the region and question why the Arab world does not do the same. Some Israelis voiced the concern that it is somehow politically expedient to allow the Palestinian populations in Gaza and the West Bank to suffer because it assists in achieving the goal of eliminating Israel and/or utilizing Israeli actions to fuel calls for jihad. The Palestinian diaspora is dispersed throughout Jordan, the United States, Australia, Europe, and other nations within the Middle East. Israelis often question why money doesn’t get funneled back to enrich Palestinian communities (I am sure that some does even if it is not acknowledged).
The view that Israel is an occupying army is one that also sparks much contention. It is only since the end of World War I that that majority of countries within the middle east region gained autonomy as unique political entities. Egypt was the last, ceasing to be a British protectorate in 1952. Palestine was created after WWI by the British and promised to the Jewish people quickly thereafter due to the rising tide of anti-Semitism in Europe during the 1930s. The area had been previously ruled by the Ottoman empire. The borders of British Palestine included present-day Jordan and Israel. However, the Hashemites emigrated from Africa during WWI and after WWII were granted monarchial rule of the newly formed Jordan by UN mandate. This action effectively gave away 70% of the land originally promised to Jews. The Hashimites were and are the minority within Jordan, Palestinians make up the majority of the population. Jordan annexed the West Bank in 1951. It was eventually re-annexed by Israel in the 1967 war (international law would not consider such action an occupation, however a former Israeli Prime Minister referred to the territories as occupied once and the concept has not only stuck, but has been reinforced by Israeli military and political action) The argument in Israel goes: Palestinians have not been under self-rule for hundreds of years, if ever. Additionally, Palestinians have a state that is not currently democratic but that should belong to them: Jordan. Israelis ask: Why doesn’t the international community pressure Jordan to support Palestinians and grant them more rights within the state? Many Jews were thrown from their homes and forced to leave their countries when Israel was internationally recognized as a state in 1948. Should Jews from Lebanon, Syria or Iran be allowed to return to their countries if Palestinians who were forced to leave or left on their own accord are allowed to reclaim their homes within Israel? Is there a double standard being enforced by global communities due to Israeli’s relative wealth and power?
The above questions tie into another concern I heard voiced often: Is Israel being scapegoated for a situation that it did not create? The original two-state system proposed once British Palestine was dissolved broke the portion for Palestinians into three disconnected segments. It also gave Israel and 11-mile strip of coastline. Based on the rhetoric of the day, that Israel “ should be driven into the sea,” such borders were seen as a threat to the longevity and security of the state. Golda Meyer viewed the borders as a death sentence similar to that signified by concentration camps- quite a poignant comparison. Can Britain be held responsible for irresponsible partition of the original state (much like the continuing mess left by the partition of India and Pakistan?). Can historical perspectives be utilized during discussion on the news about current crises involving Palestine and Israel? British media, particularly the BBC, is incredibly skewed toward the Palestinian perspective- for example their online brief history of Israel does not contain a single picture of an Israeli civilian or soldier, but contains many photos of Palestinians effected by Israeli military actions. Should it be re-named the history of Palestine?
In a different vein— A central question in this discussion is: can a Jewish democratic state be equitable to all its citizens who are of different religions? There are many Arab-Muslim-Israelis, however, despite their ability to vote, many are viewed (and rightly so) as discriminated against. Israel is currently the only democracy in the Middle East (besides Iraq, which is debatable, though less so since the most recent elections there), but is it a fair one? Is it still necessary in this world to have a Jewish state that grants protection to any Jews suffering from persecution? Is anti-Semitism a thing of the past? What would a non-secular state of Israel look like? Is the idea of a birth-right still valid? Is Israel central to Jewish identify? What is modern Jewish identity? These are a sampling of some of the questions that constantly tug at the collective Israeli psyche.
The current elections also grant insight into Israeli mindset. The fighting in Gaza seems to have made the right more staunch in their defense of the rights of the state to defend itself, where as the left feels like no party adequately represents their sentiments. If Tzipi Livni “wins” and is able to form a functional coalition government, it will still be dominated by right-wing nationalist factions because Israeli parliament is a representative democracy with multiple parties. It validates my sense of Israel- that it is a very centrist country forced to balance strong conflicting factions. None of the candidates for Prime Minister would have likely changed the country’s course, as all were engaged in and supportive of the Gaza conflict.
Many of my peers in my birthright group expressed concern the Israeli military actions appeared to arise from a place of fear- fear with origins in the pogroms and the holocaust, fear of being persecuted and annihilated. The state was founded due to a desire to never again be discriminated against or killed because of Jewish identity. These origins beg the question: Does Israel have a right to defend it borders against perceived threats? If so, at what scale?
The Israelis I spoke with believe that peace with Palestinians is possible, however they also believe that it won’t emerge for at least 10-50 years. However, they are not sure that peace with a militant group such as Hamas is possible. Based on how you look at it, luckily, or unfortunately, Palestinian politics is currently divided- Fatah controls the West Bank, and Hamas, Gaza. Israelis believe that strong leadership on the Palestinian side committed to non-violent means of gaining statehood, and willing to compromise, will be the most likely way to broker a peace agreement. They site the peace agreements with Egypt, Jordan and Syria as models. “Nobody 30 years ago thought that we could ever achieve peace with any of these countries, but now we have it. Peace with Lebanon and Palestine is possible.” To achieve lasting peace and security, Israelis are willing to concede territory, such as to Golan heights, back to Syria. The majority of the population supports the “two-state solution” based on pre-1967 borders. Such actions make Israeli borders more vulnerable and less defensible, however the viewpoint is that if they can broker real peace based on recognition of their right to exist, narrow borders are preferable. The majority support eliminating Jewish settlements in the West bank. Most dream of a time when the wall will no longer be needed to discourage suicide bombings like those that occurred during the second intifada. It is encouraging to hear that they do not believe that the current situation is permanent and unsolvable. Yet they also concede that compromise is essential, for neither side can receive 100% of their goals, but together they can forge an agreement that brings both closer to a better situation. They blame Arafat for his inability to compromise at Camp David for the continuing situation. They see Palestinian leadership over the past fifty years and inflexible, uncompromising, weak, and therefore incredibly ineffective as governors or brokers of peace.
Many people in the US and around the world seem to be pegging their hopes on the Obama administration. I asked whether Israelis were as excited and hopeful. One commented that she would have voted for McCain because she believes that his strong militaristic stance would best provide support for Israeli security. Others wanted to wait and see if Obama’s rhetoric matches his actions. They did not expect that his efforts would be capable of quelling the situation.
So what does the future hold? I did not gain any insight into the answer to this question, however, I think that if the situation is portrayed in a historical light that does not show either side as black and white, but rather as a whole spectrum of colors and opinions, it may help the Israelis and Palestinians, and the world, begin to find areas of commonalities to build upon. It is a complex situation indeed, but nonetheless, there are many lessons to be learned from the tumultuous and continual unfolding negotiations.
After spending a few days in the country (which, by the way, is ecologically gorgeous), I do not believe all hope is gone for “peace in the middle east.” But I do believe the road ahead will be long and challenging—much as any path toward a worthy reward often is.
The children’s memorial at the Israeli national holocaust museum consists of a dark tunnel that leads into a man-made cavern where the walls appear to be constructed out of windows. Inside each window is a single candle, flickering. The soft flames are reflected in the layers of shimmering glass. Gazing in any direction, one has the perception of seeing thousands of candles scattered into the distance. It is not unlike the feeling of lying in a field and gazing at the night sky, endless stars stretching out toward the horizon. The tunnel opens up again on a hillside that overlooks the city limits of Jerusalem, perhaps contrasting a vision of hope for the modern state against the tragic circumstances of its beginnings. The memorial’s layout is telling of the mentality many Israelis have concerning the birth of their nation and its continuing struggle for survival. Although Israelis are infamous for holding conflicting opinions simultaneously, “If you have two Jews in one room then you have at least four opinions,” I did encounter many similarities during my recent 10-day birthright trip to the country.
Before leaving I sat glued to the television in my Grandmother’s house in New Jersey, watching the situation in Gaza escalate. I felt conflicted, on the one-hand I was outraged the so many civilians were being killed in an operation whose origin I barely understood. I was also terrified of going to visit a war-torn land during the height of an international crisis. On the other hand, I was interested in seeing how military actions affected the greater Israeli population, and decided that if citizens there could daily live with the threat of suicide bombers, I would probably be alright during my brief stay. In the end curiosity won; my sister and I decided to ignore the pleas of our family to think of our safety and set out to experience Zion with a group themed “Peace, pluralism and social justice.” My goal was to enter with an open mind, with the hope of learning historical context that could elucidate current events.
Once in the country, I found it challenging to keep abreast of developments in Gaza for two reasons: our exceptionally busy schedule, and my extraordinarily poor Hebrew language skills. If I had never known of the circumstances, my observations of daily life not have revealed any signs of it. Things appeared to continue normally in the northern and central parts of the country. Although we did get word that rockets has been fired from Lebanon a few miles from where we were staying one night, and a city we had visited was targeted a few days after our excursion. Had we been in Be’er Sheva, however, daily rocket attacks would have served as a reminder of the raging air and ground war. The Israeli students who accompanied the trip had been dismissed from their university due to the aerial attacks; homes, pubs and schools were damaged in their neighborhoods. Of course, contrasted with the scale of the operation in Gaza, such losses were minimal.
Nearly every Israeli I spoke with supported the operation and was worried about the troops. They repeatedly highlight the fact that their troops act ethically, they do not use women and children for shields, do not occupy schools and fire from within. Yet in order to carry out the mission, they are forced by the actions of those they are fighting (Hamas) to target civilian areas because their enemy utilizes them for safe cover. Everyone regretted civilian causalities but many thought that based on the manner in which Hamas operated they were often unavoidable. I have seen videos of Hamas fighters training children to use weapons and grabbing children for use as shields. Former Israeli military officers told stories of having Hamas fire through women, wounding and killing Israeli soldiers who were unwilling to fire at a civilian. (I should say that I did not have the opportunity to speak with any Palestinians during my trip, nor any Arab-Israelis, so inevitably the perspective I relay is biased. Nonetheless, I do think it represents the mindset of the majority of Israelis.) Hamas is viewed as a terrorist organization that spends more time training its population for warfare than it does supplying necessary goods and services. Israel has had a cease-fire agreement with Hamas and the Gaza territory, however southern Israeli cities have sustained rocket attacks nearly daily for the past eight years. The rationale for the recent attack is that a unilateral ceasefire is unsustainable and is not tolerable if Israeli citizens are forced to live in constant fear of rocket fire.
This is not the say that the grievances within the Gazan population are not valid. Nearly 80% of the population is unemployed since the borders into Israel have been closed. Medical provisions and food were already short supply prior to the operation. I often heard Israelis comment about the ability of Hamas to import rockets through their network of tunnels, but their inability to bring supplies to the population. Israel views Gaza as a burden, won from Egypt during the 1967 war, it contains the largest percentage of the Palestinian population in the annexed territories during the war. Israel has created infrastructure throughout the small region (much of which was just destroyed). They view themselves as pouring millions of dollars into the region and question why the Arab world does not do the same. Some Israelis voiced the concern that it is somehow politically expedient to allow the Palestinian populations in Gaza and the West Bank to suffer because it assists in achieving the goal of eliminating Israel and/or utilizing Israeli actions to fuel calls for jihad. The Palestinian diaspora is dispersed throughout Jordan, the United States, Australia, Europe, and other nations within the Middle East. Israelis often question why money doesn’t get funneled back to enrich Palestinian communities (I am sure that some does even if it is not acknowledged).
The view that Israel is an occupying army is one that also sparks much contention. It is only since the end of World War I that that majority of countries within the middle east region gained autonomy as unique political entities. Egypt was the last, ceasing to be a British protectorate in 1952. Palestine was created after WWI by the British and promised to the Jewish people quickly thereafter due to the rising tide of anti-Semitism in Europe during the 1930s. The area had been previously ruled by the Ottoman empire. The borders of British Palestine included present-day Jordan and Israel. However, the Hashemites emigrated from Africa during WWI and after WWII were granted monarchial rule of the newly formed Jordan by UN mandate. This action effectively gave away 70% of the land originally promised to Jews. The Hashimites were and are the minority within Jordan, Palestinians make up the majority of the population. Jordan annexed the West Bank in 1951. It was eventually re-annexed by Israel in the 1967 war (international law would not consider such action an occupation, however a former Israeli Prime Minister referred to the territories as occupied once and the concept has not only stuck, but has been reinforced by Israeli military and political action) The argument in Israel goes: Palestinians have not been under self-rule for hundreds of years, if ever. Additionally, Palestinians have a state that is not currently democratic but that should belong to them: Jordan. Israelis ask: Why doesn’t the international community pressure Jordan to support Palestinians and grant them more rights within the state? Many Jews were thrown from their homes and forced to leave their countries when Israel was internationally recognized as a state in 1948. Should Jews from Lebanon, Syria or Iran be allowed to return to their countries if Palestinians who were forced to leave or left on their own accord are allowed to reclaim their homes within Israel? Is there a double standard being enforced by global communities due to Israeli’s relative wealth and power?
The above questions tie into another concern I heard voiced often: Is Israel being scapegoated for a situation that it did not create? The original two-state system proposed once British Palestine was dissolved broke the portion for Palestinians into three disconnected segments. It also gave Israel and 11-mile strip of coastline. Based on the rhetoric of the day, that Israel “ should be driven into the sea,” such borders were seen as a threat to the longevity and security of the state. Golda Meyer viewed the borders as a death sentence similar to that signified by concentration camps- quite a poignant comparison. Can Britain be held responsible for irresponsible partition of the original state (much like the continuing mess left by the partition of India and Pakistan?). Can historical perspectives be utilized during discussion on the news about current crises involving Palestine and Israel? British media, particularly the BBC, is incredibly skewed toward the Palestinian perspective- for example their online brief history of Israel does not contain a single picture of an Israeli civilian or soldier, but contains many photos of Palestinians effected by Israeli military actions. Should it be re-named the history of Palestine?
In a different vein— A central question in this discussion is: can a Jewish democratic state be equitable to all its citizens who are of different religions? There are many Arab-Muslim-Israelis, however, despite their ability to vote, many are viewed (and rightly so) as discriminated against. Israel is currently the only democracy in the Middle East (besides Iraq, which is debatable, though less so since the most recent elections there), but is it a fair one? Is it still necessary in this world to have a Jewish state that grants protection to any Jews suffering from persecution? Is anti-Semitism a thing of the past? What would a non-secular state of Israel look like? Is the idea of a birth-right still valid? Is Israel central to Jewish identify? What is modern Jewish identity? These are a sampling of some of the questions that constantly tug at the collective Israeli psyche.
The current elections also grant insight into Israeli mindset. The fighting in Gaza seems to have made the right more staunch in their defense of the rights of the state to defend itself, where as the left feels like no party adequately represents their sentiments. If Tzipi Livni “wins” and is able to form a functional coalition government, it will still be dominated by right-wing nationalist factions because Israeli parliament is a representative democracy with multiple parties. It validates my sense of Israel- that it is a very centrist country forced to balance strong conflicting factions. None of the candidates for Prime Minister would have likely changed the country’s course, as all were engaged in and supportive of the Gaza conflict.
Many of my peers in my birthright group expressed concern the Israeli military actions appeared to arise from a place of fear- fear with origins in the pogroms and the holocaust, fear of being persecuted and annihilated. The state was founded due to a desire to never again be discriminated against or killed because of Jewish identity. These origins beg the question: Does Israel have a right to defend it borders against perceived threats? If so, at what scale?
The Israelis I spoke with believe that peace with Palestinians is possible, however they also believe that it won’t emerge for at least 10-50 years. However, they are not sure that peace with a militant group such as Hamas is possible. Based on how you look at it, luckily, or unfortunately, Palestinian politics is currently divided- Fatah controls the West Bank, and Hamas, Gaza. Israelis believe that strong leadership on the Palestinian side committed to non-violent means of gaining statehood, and willing to compromise, will be the most likely way to broker a peace agreement. They site the peace agreements with Egypt, Jordan and Syria as models. “Nobody 30 years ago thought that we could ever achieve peace with any of these countries, but now we have it. Peace with Lebanon and Palestine is possible.” To achieve lasting peace and security, Israelis are willing to concede territory, such as to Golan heights, back to Syria. The majority of the population supports the “two-state solution” based on pre-1967 borders. Such actions make Israeli borders more vulnerable and less defensible, however the viewpoint is that if they can broker real peace based on recognition of their right to exist, narrow borders are preferable. The majority support eliminating Jewish settlements in the West bank. Most dream of a time when the wall will no longer be needed to discourage suicide bombings like those that occurred during the second intifada. It is encouraging to hear that they do not believe that the current situation is permanent and unsolvable. Yet they also concede that compromise is essential, for neither side can receive 100% of their goals, but together they can forge an agreement that brings both closer to a better situation. They blame Arafat for his inability to compromise at Camp David for the continuing situation. They see Palestinian leadership over the past fifty years and inflexible, uncompromising, weak, and therefore incredibly ineffective as governors or brokers of peace.
Many people in the US and around the world seem to be pegging their hopes on the Obama administration. I asked whether Israelis were as excited and hopeful. One commented that she would have voted for McCain because she believes that his strong militaristic stance would best provide support for Israeli security. Others wanted to wait and see if Obama’s rhetoric matches his actions. They did not expect that his efforts would be capable of quelling the situation.
So what does the future hold? I did not gain any insight into the answer to this question, however, I think that if the situation is portrayed in a historical light that does not show either side as black and white, but rather as a whole spectrum of colors and opinions, it may help the Israelis and Palestinians, and the world, begin to find areas of commonalities to build upon. It is a complex situation indeed, but nonetheless, there are many lessons to be learned from the tumultuous and continual unfolding negotiations.
After spending a few days in the country (which, by the way, is ecologically gorgeous), I do not believe all hope is gone for “peace in the middle east.” But I do believe the road ahead will be long and challenging—much as any path toward a worthy reward often is.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
peace, pluralism and social justice
in a few minutes i leave for a trip to israel, that contested holy desert that seems to always be storming. but the focus of my sister, shaynas (one of my favorite people in the word), and my trip is focused on solutions, on seeking out peace in a land with a history of endless conflict
i am eagar to take principles from aikido, of connection, belnding, enetering and being present to this place and her its stories, see its sights, and hopefully gain a better understanding of the people who are so often decried on the news
so keep me in your thoughts in the coming weeks!
i am eagar to take principles from aikido, of connection, belnding, enetering and being present to this place and her its stories, see its sights, and hopefully gain a better understanding of the people who are so often decried on the news
so keep me in your thoughts in the coming weeks!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Settled but Aware
Would that my memory was not so fickle- Senseis are constantly revealing wisdom on the mat that sinks deep into the core of my being. Yes! I will breath in the mystery of the universe. Yes! I will try to be open to the changes afoot and listen to my body to feel what that means for me. Yes! I will let my day go and be present here and now (but for some reason I will refrain from doing this until your gentle, but reassuring voice lets me know that it is time to do so).
And then there is the humor: During the dan exam tonight Sensei asked "Can I see 'sand the floor?'" Thanks goodness I have finally forced myself to watch the Karate Kid movies, because I nearly began crying with laughter.
And the poetry. This is one of my favorite parts. It unites the movement with words that filter deep into consciousness.
Recently read-- A Spiritual Journey by Wendell Berry:
And the world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles,
no matter how long,
but only by a spiritual journey,
a journey of one inch,
very arduous and humbling and joyful,
by which we arrive at the ground at our feet,
and learn to be at home.
Just some of the many reasons why going to aikido class is so wonderfully rich and rewarding- the crossing of neurons, the relaxation, the endless joy of discovery, the meditation, the profound sense of well-being, and the humor, the wisdom, the friendships. . .
I wonder if there will be any free time in Israel to practice (and a nearby dojo). Hum . . . . . . :)
And then there is the humor: During the dan exam tonight Sensei asked "Can I see 'sand the floor?'" Thanks goodness I have finally forced myself to watch the Karate Kid movies, because I nearly began crying with laughter.
And the poetry. This is one of my favorite parts. It unites the movement with words that filter deep into consciousness.
Recently read-- A Spiritual Journey by Wendell Berry:
And the world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles,
no matter how long,
but only by a spiritual journey,
a journey of one inch,
very arduous and humbling and joyful,
by which we arrive at the ground at our feet,
and learn to be at home.
Just some of the many reasons why going to aikido class is so wonderfully rich and rewarding- the crossing of neurons, the relaxation, the endless joy of discovery, the meditation, the profound sense of well-being, and the humor, the wisdom, the friendships. . .
I wonder if there will be any free time in Israel to practice (and a nearby dojo). Hum . . . . . . :)
Saturday, October 25, 2008
The art of falling
Thanks to Lance's friend for taking this picture of Sensei Grayson James throwing me in a high fall. I hope that someday these falls become familiar and easy, because currently they still scare me every time, especially on the left side . . . I am eager to learn "soft ukemi" techniques for falling, as even the name sounds gentler.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
On: going
It is amazing that even when I just can't imagine putting on my gi and stepping onto the mat, due to either stress, anxiety, or physical aches and tiredness-- just going makes me feel better! It is transformative; I can arrive lazy, perturbed, disheveled, and leave energetic, peaceful and excited.
So I suppose the lesson for me is just to keep on going, even when I think I don't want to. For I always learn something . . . and my emotions and thoughts are always altered by the experience, usually in incredibly positive ways.
So I suppose the lesson for me is just to keep on going, even when I think I don't want to. For I always learn something . . . and my emotions and thoughts are always altered by the experience, usually in incredibly positive ways.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Salt Point Shin Kokyu
Sunset-- the ocean is inky black and gently swelling against the piecemeal shoreline. Seaweed scattered across the surface creates texture, warm refracted light dazzles in the compartments the kelp creates. Kamis, the spirits of nature and the universe, abound; it is as if you can sense their sharp breath in the chill night air. As Linda Holiday Sensei said, when confronted with beautiful places, she turns to Shin Kokyu, a purification practice that is the "settling of the spirit and returning to the spirit of the universe." I was inspired to settle and connect, perched on a rock in Salt Point state park, with bats fluttering over the sloshing waves and specks of fishing boats drifting toward the deepening orange, magenta and gold horizon.
Shin kokyu is a sort of movement meditation, it incorporates of deep breathing, centering, and unification of mind-body through specific motions that seem to awaken my ki (energy) field through "spirit-shaking." It announces ones presence in the world, our relation to the elements (earth, air, water, fire). It reminds us of the mystery of life, both harmony and seeming discordance. Mostly (for now, for me) it actively reminds my body of the good feeling I get from practicing Aikido, and all the realization that stems from the practice.
So I am going to attempt a 30-day Shin Kokyu daily practice . . . just to see what arises.
In Linda Holiday Sensei's writing about Shin Kokyu (which is eloquent, interesting and inspiring!) she includes this wonderful Osensei quote:
"Love is the guardian deity of everything. Nothing can exist without it. Aikido is the realization of love."
Shin kokyu is a sort of movement meditation, it incorporates of deep breathing, centering, and unification of mind-body through specific motions that seem to awaken my ki (energy) field through "spirit-shaking." It announces ones presence in the world, our relation to the elements (earth, air, water, fire). It reminds us of the mystery of life, both harmony and seeming discordance. Mostly (for now, for me) it actively reminds my body of the good feeling I get from practicing Aikido, and all the realization that stems from the practice.
So I am going to attempt a 30-day Shin Kokyu daily practice . . . just to see what arises.
In Linda Holiday Sensei's writing about Shin Kokyu (which is eloquent, interesting and inspiring!) she includes this wonderful Osensei quote:
"Love is the guardian deity of everything. Nothing can exist without it. Aikido is the realization of love."
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
True victory?
"True victory is victory over oneself."
But in Aikido what does the term victory even mean? The traditional use has connotations of triumphant trouncing of ones opponent. But there is no winning in Aikido, there is only training with your partner(s). So I wonder what Osensei was trying to convey as he said this. Was the purpose to eliminate the competitive mind? Did he have an understanding of "victory" that has become untied from this phrase?
I have heard that it is the nage's (person doing the technique) job to take care of the person attacking them, and to do so with love. There are stories of Terry Dobson, one of the early western aikidoists, giving rowdy fighting-minded people massages and telling them jokes when he had to subdue them as a bouncer. . .
So maybe the word victory could be replaced with the phrase "loving embrace:"
True loving embrace is to lovingly embrace oneself
Then maybe if we start from the space of self love we can extend that to anyone we are in relationship with (such as uke, friend, teacher, partner, family, "opponent", "enemy", other side of the political spectrum).
Said another way,
Winning is truly winning/ Loving is truly loving.
But in Aikido what does the term victory even mean? The traditional use has connotations of triumphant trouncing of ones opponent. But there is no winning in Aikido, there is only training with your partner(s). So I wonder what Osensei was trying to convey as he said this. Was the purpose to eliminate the competitive mind? Did he have an understanding of "victory" that has become untied from this phrase?
I have heard that it is the nage's (person doing the technique) job to take care of the person attacking them, and to do so with love. There are stories of Terry Dobson, one of the early western aikidoists, giving rowdy fighting-minded people massages and telling them jokes when he had to subdue them as a bouncer. . .
So maybe the word victory could be replaced with the phrase "loving embrace:"
True loving embrace is to lovingly embrace oneself
Then maybe if we start from the space of self love we can extend that to anyone we are in relationship with (such as uke, friend, teacher, partner, family, "opponent", "enemy", other side of the political spectrum).
Said another way,
Winning is truly winning/ Loving is truly loving.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Encounters with Calligraphy
Tonight I was able to watch Kazuaki Tanahashi give a calligraphy demonstration while reminiscing about Osensei. Tanahashi had a very natural and calm presence that reminded me of Anno Sensei. He was relaxed and deliberate in his actions. It was apparent that he has trained in the art of calligraphy for years from the gentle way he dipped and drained his brushes to the fluidity and confidence with which his strokes touched the paper. His choice of color was intriguing to me, he blended colors, letting them boldly mark the page, then intermingle and fade as his work continued. Then he would also chose single colors or black for other pieces. His incredible work surrounded him, punctuating the dojo. Some we incredibly mesmerizing in their simplicity which somehow contained infinite complexity. This piece, called "Miracle of Each Moment" is fiery yet elegant. 
This open circle has inexplicably gripped me!
This open circle has inexplicably gripped me!Sensei also allowed people to make requests. It was interesting to see what different people chose and how they were executed. In the dojo in Santa Cruz there is a calligraphy that is often referred to: True Victory is Victory Over Oneself, Masa Katsu A Yatsu (I think). Tanahashi said that it may also be interpreted as "winning is truly winning." It is helpful for me to think of this phrase as a way to remind myself that I am not in competition with others, but that we are each working our way toward becoming the light we truly wish to see in the world. Therefore in order to continue allowing this concept to guide me, for it's complexity to continue unfolding for me, I decided to request it:
I enjoyed hearing about the importance Osensei placed on a sincere attack, on his vision of taking care of your enemy. I loved how Tanahashi's face light up when he recalled the rapidity with which Osensei could trim rice stalks. I asked if there was a connection between Aikido and agriculture, as Osensei had farmed for periods of time. According to Tanahashi, it was viewed as a necessity, but also as a way to practice body movement.
Tanahashi did not train with Osensei for an extended period of time, but it is apparent that both he and his father were moved by the experience, which continues to shape them. Tanahashi is currently working toward "A World Without Armies," a non-profit organization he is part of. He says he often thinks of his time with Osensei to learn the core principles that will help to shape a more peaceful world. I sincerely hope he does not mind my inclusion of his principles nor artwork here . . . they are rich in their depth, and I think important to share:
Four Commonplace Truths: Principles of Engagement
1. No situation is impossible to change.
2. A communal vision, outstanding strategy, and sustained effort can bring forth positive changes.
3. Everyone can help make a difference.
4. No one is free of responsibility.
Ten Laws of Breakthrough
Breakthrough is a sudden and overwhelming unfolding of freedom from long-held limitations. Breakthrough makes what seems impossible possible.
1. Breakthrough may or may not occur. The result is unpredictable and how it happens mysterious. All we can do is work towards breakthrough.
2. Some breakthroughs are life-affirming and others destructive.
3. The chance for breakthroughs increases when the objective and general process are clearly stated.
4. The chance for breakthrough increases when the blocks are clearly identified.
5. The smaller the objective is, the larger the chance is for breakthrough.
6. An effective, intense, and continuous effort builds a foundation for breakthrough.
7. The more forces are combined, the larger is the chance for breakthrough.
8. The greater the objective is, the easier it is to bring together force for breakthrough.
9. The chance for breakthrough increases when more attention is directed to the process than the goal.
10. Nonattachment is a crucial element for breakthrough.
Tanahashi Sensei gave as an example of the way Osensei had a simpler time confusing the attackers and using them against one-another when there were many, such as #7. He also said that he though Aikido was a way in which one could seek breakthroughs. The night gave rise to many beautiful images and many more thoughts, which I think I will be unpacking for a while, like most things in Aikido . . .
A trait expressed by Tanahasi Sensei that I found remarkable was his confidence yet lightness in movement and his connection to the page (with brush and focus) that extended as long as the brush strokes remained. It was a living example of full committedness to an action as well as lovely and complete follow-through, seemingly without hesitation or judgement, until there all that remained of the event was a gem lying at the edge of the cloth he was working on-- like a ripple of energy that expands into space, just a beutifulhint of the intention and grace that had imbued what had just occurred.
I was also privileged to have dinner with Jack Wada Sensei, visiting from San Jose, and other wonderful friends. We delved into discussions about the course Aikido is taking and its potential paths in the future, the difference between communal versus individual training, and the importance of journey over destination. It was affirming to hear Jack Sensei express many ideas I have been coming to, but also give them his own spin which comes from years of experience and reflection. As I was the only woman at this gathering, I was told about to the sexism many early women Aikido pioneers faced in Japan, and began to understand the long way women have coming in becoming a dynamic, respected and most welcome/embraced part of Aikido. Thank you to all the incredible women who have paved the way for me to have two women dojo-chos as my first Senseis. I look forward to training with Jack Sensei at Tenchi Aikido tomorrow morning.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
The Spirit of Innocence
The sun had not cleared the mountains as we ambled onto the shore of the glassy lake. The light was diffuse; the air had the snappy refreshing quality only altitude can create. The sand was chill, bitting our bare feet as we sat down to meditate. California gulls waddled round to look at us and fluff their wings in curiosity at the strange grouping of still sitters. Once the cold of the ground seemed to have throughly penetrated, we rose and walked into the lake, which was surprisingly warm compared to the beach. Just as our feet touched the water the sun crested the peaks, and the surface was gilded with dancing ribbons of light. The misogi practice (purification) connected us to the four elements, the Tahoe environment, to ourselves and to the spirit of Aikido.
Training inside on the mat during the weekend seminar was also wonderful and interesting. I particularly enjoyed the Kali knife fighting (we learned accuracy, coordination with partner, and practiced circular movement) and 31 Jo kata partner practice (my first time ever doing the 31 Jo kata, and what I gatherwas for many people first time doing it with another person. The result was a lot of discovery and re-wiring brain circuitry). The community as a whole was very welcoming; and it was lovely to get to know people off the mat in a beautiful setting. It was really neat to see friends from both dojos training, learning and laughing together-- really embracing one another. Overall, I had a lot of fun!
Richard Sensei focused a lot on being fully present and aware. He asked us many times to remind ourselves why we practice. During his last class he asked us to think of something we would like to bring into our lives as well as something we would like to cut out. It was challenging to think of something on the spot, however I decided my addition would be confidence and commitment to what I was doing (follow-through instead of giving up mid-way through). I would like to remove complaining (maybe to be replaced with constructive reflection?).
Linda Sensei shared some memories that stuck with her that her Senseis in Japan passed onto her. The first was never try to throw anyone (instead connect with them). The essence of the second was to embrace the entire Aikido community in its diversity. Before she bowed out, she asked us to train with the spirit of innocence. That is a concept I would like to remember. Innocence also has a connotation of joy or love for me. My interpretation of her words were to allow these feelings to penetrate my practice so that I could continue the process of discovery.
It seems workshops/seminars/retreats pass all too fast. Yet I also think I will be unpacking the lessons and techniques from this weekend for years to come.
Training inside on the mat during the weekend seminar was also wonderful and interesting. I particularly enjoyed the Kali knife fighting (we learned accuracy, coordination with partner, and practiced circular movement) and 31 Jo kata partner practice (my first time ever doing the 31 Jo kata, and what I gatherwas for many people first time doing it with another person. The result was a lot of discovery and re-wiring brain circuitry). The community as a whole was very welcoming; and it was lovely to get to know people off the mat in a beautiful setting. It was really neat to see friends from both dojos training, learning and laughing together-- really embracing one another. Overall, I had a lot of fun!
Richard Sensei focused a lot on being fully present and aware. He asked us many times to remind ourselves why we practice. During his last class he asked us to think of something we would like to bring into our lives as well as something we would like to cut out. It was challenging to think of something on the spot, however I decided my addition would be confidence and commitment to what I was doing (follow-through instead of giving up mid-way through). I would like to remove complaining (maybe to be replaced with constructive reflection?).
Linda Sensei shared some memories that stuck with her that her Senseis in Japan passed onto her. The first was never try to throw anyone (instead connect with them). The essence of the second was to embrace the entire Aikido community in its diversity. Before she bowed out, she asked us to train with the spirit of innocence. That is a concept I would like to remember. Innocence also has a connotation of joy or love for me. My interpretation of her words were to allow these feelings to penetrate my practice so that I could continue the process of discovery.
It seems workshops/seminars/retreats pass all too fast. Yet I also think I will be unpacking the lessons and techniques from this weekend for years to come.
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